I’m still behind. So let’s get right to it.
To avoid further agitating my upper lip, I steered clear mustaches altogether for a day. It helped my burning skin, but not my pride. I think I might have stated previously that the chin tuft made me feel creepy. This one was like that times twenty.
I was just going to take the picture and take it off, but decided to go for a jaunt down the street on my longboard first. I’m not sure if it was the board or the beard, but everyone I passed gave me the worst looks. I don’t blame them.
The current universal image of a mustache you see on shirts and coffee mugs is the handlebar. Rather than be mainstream, hipsters seem to have gravitated towards the imperial as an alternative. It hasn’t quite caught on. Probably because it looks like the Wu Tang Clan logo. (seriously, google it) Somewhat related…
If fate is kind, one day my pedostache will be allowed to flourish into one of these. Maybe then people would listen when I give them advice.
Yes that’s a Chinese flag. It was a joke gift. Just felt appropriate.
I knew early on I wanted to do some kind of elaborate sideburns to mix things up. Elvis was the leading candidate for the longest time… until I remembered Starburns.
For those who don’t know, Starburns is a character on one of my favorite shows, Community. Pretty self-explanatory. While I don’t have a leather vest or a top hat or a pet lizard to complete the outfit, the ‘burns speak for themselves.
I was surprised at the reception it got. Most people didn’t know it was based off an existing character so I got a lot of credit I didn’t quite earn. But I took it anyway.
If this looks familiar, it’s because it is. This style is called the anchor because of its shape, most recently made famous by one Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. This too I knew I was going to do early, though I didn’t know how rad it would make me feel.
A normal selfie wasn’t going to do. So I asked myself, what would Tony do?
Climb on the roof. Duh.
Okay, so since I’ve been behind, I had to play catch up. And the best way to do that without peeling off face skin was to morph one style into another. As soon as I finished with the anchor, I pulled a bit of hair off the beard and filled in where necessary for the circle here. Slight cheat, I know, but I’m not running out of hair so it’s a moot point.
Technically the extra chin dangle makes it more of a goatee combo, but since I was going for the evil twin/darkest timeline look, I saw screw the rules. Anarchy! Chaos! Hot hot hot!
Devil horn shadows by my eyes were unintentional but were a nice bonus.
First of all, I named it wrong when I posted it on instagram. It’s the Gamemaker, not Gamekeeper. In my defense, at the time I knew nothing about the Hunger Games outside of the one time I watched the first movie. It was a suggestion from one of my protege’s that I was happy to take because, frankly, I’m running out of ideas.
Second of all, it falls a bit short of the full glory. Though my faux facial hair-making abilities have come a long way, they still have a long way to go. I’m over it.
At any rate, though I missed the opportunity to do the Guy Fawkes on the 5th of November, this just happened to fall on the premiere weekend of the new Hunger Games movie Catching Fire. So as it turns out, my lateness served an actual purpose.
I’d make an “odds in my favor” punchline but I just did that in my last post.
Tune in next week for the answers to all your questions: will I finish all 30 styles before December? Will I overcommit and run out of hair? Just how much more abuse will my soft-as-baby-butt facial skin take? And do I dare wear one to the Thanksgiving family reunion?
To be… concluded!