In lieu of a prosy, narcissistic look at my life story, here are a bunch of facts about me in chronological order.

I grew up in a 2,000 population town in East Texas. I’m grateful for the small town experience. I would not do it again.

I’m named after the bubble boy.

I made the conscious decision to be potty-trained on my 3rd birthday.

In First Grade, all my schoolwork was stupid easy and I was bored all the time. One day they tested out moving me up a grade. I bombed all the work on purpose. I stuck to First Grade.

When I was in Second Grade, I won 3rd Place in UIL Creative Writing for a story about a wizard, a mouse, and a dragon. That’s the first story I ever remember writing.

On the first day of Fourth Grade, I was super bummed to find out people didn’t think Power Rangers were cool any more. I had brought my new ones in my backpack. I left them there.

Later that year I got in my first fight because a kid threw my books in the trash. I didn’t really care about my books that much, I just wanted to punch him.

That’s also the age when UIL Creative Writing turns into more academic Writing. I hated it. I won 5th Place anyway.

My favorite N64 game was Ocarina of Time, even though I would never play the whole thing at the time because the Spirit Temple scared the shit out of me.

In Sixth Grade, I got to be in the GT class where we basically had fun for an hour. One day we made our own movie, “Snow White and Sky Blue”. It’s the first movie I ever wrote.

I played middle school football as a B-team lineman. The first time I got called to play in a game, I missed it because I was lying on the grass looking up at the light rain and pretending I was zooming through space.

I did get 6th Place once for the 110m hurdles. It’s the only award I’ve ever gotten for sports.

I chose to learn the clarinet in band because it had the biggest note range I could use in the shortest amount of time. When I discovered mostly girls play the clarinet and a few nerdy guys, I switched to saxophone. It was sexier. When I realized girls find guitar even sexier, I started learning that. To this day, it has not helped.

I fought with one band director in particular a lot. I convinced my parents and the principal he was just unreasonable, but I definitely antagonized him from time to time. He’s dead now.

I got in my second fight in Eighth Grade. It wasn’t a fight so much as me slamming a kid’s head into the bleachers because he was choking out my friend. The guy wasn’t really my friend, but that’s what I told the principal. I didn’t get in trouble.

I almost had my first girlfriend that year. She was pretty flirty leading up to Valentine’s Day when I was planning to ask her out with roses and such. Turns out she decided to be some other kid’s girlfriend the night before. That sucked.

In high school I finally figured out small town Texas was just the worst and I didn’t belong there. I made friends with a bunch of kids who felt the same way. We’re still friends.

I played guitar in a rock/metal/punk band for most of those years. We played two shows at school-related functions. We were okay.

I dressed like a pirate for my Senior Prom. They voted me Prom King.

Then I accidentally got Salutatorian. I gave a speech that brought the proverbial house down. That felt good.

I tried to make a feature-length movie with my friends the summer after graduation, taking out a loan to buy equipment and writing the whole thing around the people and locations we could get. It all fell apart a week before. I still hadn’t figured out I like making movies at that point.

I studied Music Composition at a liberal arts college for a semester. I hated it. I floated along for another year before I decided to give Radio, Television, Film a try. I finally figured out how much I liked movies.

I convinced my dad to buy me a house to live in during college instead of paying for a dumb apartment. His condition was for it to be a fixer-upper. Me and my friends fixed it upper. But not completely.

More rodents, raccoons, and rattlesnakes went through that house than I care to admit.

I got my first serious girlfriend working at summer camp. I tried to marry her. That didn’t work out.

My thesis film was a short called “It’s All About Poop”. You can watch it here.

After college I moved to Oklahoma for no good reason. It was not a good use of time.

I worked at Target for 3 months before they fired me for a series of really arbitrary reasons. I didn’t fight it. It was awful. I still hate Targets.

I worked at a chain bookstore after that with a lot of cool kids and one really bad manager. I helped get him fired for a series of really solid reasons. That was a pretty fun job actually.

I moved back to East Texas and worked at that summer camp as their videographer. People cried over the stuff I made. It felt weirdly good to measure my success in tears.

I saved up my summer camp money and moved to Los Angeles. It didn’t go that smoothly.